I passed by an old lover today
I would hardly call him a lover.
he was sitting in a restaurant with a woman
and eating with two others
we locked eyes for a split fragment of a second
I kept walking, looking forward
as if I had never known him
as if we hadn’t spent nights together
holding each other in our arms
as if we hadn’t clung to each other for dear life
like a child glued to the hip of its mother.
I kept walking
with each step convincing myself
that it only existed for a moment
a moment that is now a different realm entirely.
it existed here
and now it does not.
how can presence feel so eternal?
and in the next moment
the memory of it is ever fleeting?
I keep walking
sifting through memories
of all the lovers that kept me warm
kept me company
kept me present
and now kept only in a small space in my chest.
he was hardly a lover
but I’ll always have love big enough for two.
vulnerability 